wat bout pragnant strippers??
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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