I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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