i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
