I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
