RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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