all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
