garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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