there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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