so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
