look no pants
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
