I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
