I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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