i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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