I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
