Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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