Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
