do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
