He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
