She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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