i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
