i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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