I wanna passion pit in your ass
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
