where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
