We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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