I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
