Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
