you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
When are your genitals available?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
