i will never coherently bang her
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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