i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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