dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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