we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
