Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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