I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
