I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
