hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My room smells like vodka and shame
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my sisters under your porch take her home
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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