I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
