i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
