Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
