Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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