at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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