Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
