Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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