Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Randomize
