dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
