There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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