I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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