Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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