He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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