Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
