Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
