my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
