thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
