google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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