I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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