im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
