Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
