In the future we'll all be gay
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
