I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
