So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
