remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
