Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
